There is a famous Buddhist teaching called Parable of the Raft. It’s short and sweet and goes something like this: A man comes to a large river that he needs to cross but it is too dangerous to cross this river without some kind of raft. So he spends his time finding branches and twigs and logs and rope and builds a sturdy raft.
He makes the journey safe and sound to the other side of the river, and when he is ready to continue, he wonders whether or not he should take the raft with him. Should he hoist the heavy thing on his back in case he needs it again in the future?
According to the parable, the Buddha advises against carrying the raft, for it will slow you down…you don’t need it anymore.
You get the point he’s trying to make here…or I’m sure you now have your own interpretation of what he’s trying to get across.
When I got sober in 2001, I was given lots of good tools and tips for staying sober and putting my life back together. It was suggested that I go to lots of meetings, get a service position, and work with newcomers, among other things.
I did all this… and more! See, I was pretty scared of relapsing back into active alcoholism, so I went full tilt on being sober. I went to a meeting almost every day for the first 2 years of not drinking. I did everything my sponsor told me to do. I volunteered for service positions at my home group and chaired meetings all over town.
15 years later, you could still find me doing many of those same things. I still went to several meetings a week, worked with several sponsees, and held service positions at one or more groups.
I never put the raft down. Hell, I didn’t even know that I could put the raft down.
And that’s OK. The work served me well, and I don’t regret it.
But at this stage of my sobriety, I’m finally learning that it’s OK to scale back on my meetings, limit the number of sponsees I work with, and maybe keep just one service position going.
I don’t see the raft parable as whether to hold on or to not hold on. Holding on to something that’s useful is not so black and white as that. It’s more analog in nature, which allows me to dial it up or down as needed.
What raft got you where you needed to go but is still on your back all these years later?