My wife and I are about to commence some renovation work on our home and it’s got me thinking about longevity and durability.
Our little bungalow was built in 1920 and was one of the earlier houses to have electricity in its time. 105 years later, we’re replacing what remains of that original wiring in addition to resurfacing the floors, repairing cracks in the walls, having our porch repaired, and painting the interior.
I can’t say I’m excited about doing this work. It’s an inconvenience and we’ll have to move out for a month while the work is completed. We’ll spend money that would be more fun to spend on vacations or a downpayment on a little cabin in the woods somewhere.
But there is something about maintaining an older home like this that feels increasingly right in this day and age of planned obsolescence, especially in a town like Nashville, where developers have come in and cleared out so many historic homes and buildings and replaced them with new, modern, and cheap homes and buildings in an effort to increase their return on investment.
Even if we wanted to sell this place, none of the work we’re doing would increase the resale value of the home. But it’s taking care of a place that has character and class in a town where 90% of the new houses look the same.
In addition to an old house, I also have a 25-year-old truck with over 238,000 miles on it. I own a 1974 Honda motorcycle because it’s so much more interesting to me than the new bikes that are made. My marriage is 20 years old, and my sobriety is 23 years old. Hell, this body is 51 years old.
I like things that are durable - that can stand the test of time. And even though I often feel overwhelmed by the number of things that require upkeep, I would rather maintain an old thing than buy one more new thing.
And yes, just like my home, truck, or body - my mind, heart, sobriety and marriage require regular upkeep.
As a matter of fact, I can’t think of anything I engage with daily that doesn’t require regular maintenance.
Espresso machine, truck, marriage, sobriety, climbing gear, etc. Even the laptop I’m banging on this very minute requires my attention in order to run well.
When our old stuff breaks down, there can be a strong urge to throw it away and get something new that looks like it might not require as much of our time and attention. But that’s a mirage. Buying something new never leads to the deep sense of connection that comes from taking care of something over time. And this way of living just adds way too much shit to the landfill (both actual and metaphorical).
Yes, material goods can be made to be durable, but it’s ultimately the care you provide that allows those things to survive and even thrive. And it’s not just about objects, it’s just as true for our relationships, emotional well-being, and inner life.
Are we making time for the upkeep of the things that are most precious to us today?
For me, it’s regular, consistent mediation, going to meetings and working with new guys in recovery. It’s working out 6 days a week and trying not to eat like a 3 year old. It’s date nights with my wife and daily walks with my dog. It’s cleaning bikes, oil changes on the truck, and regular dinners with my family.
Your maintenance will likely be different. But my point is that by taking care of the things that take care of us, we can have more confidence in how we go about daily life. There is a silent trust in things that are dependable, whether they be your spiritual condition or the wiring in your old house.
If I take good care of my old truck, I can rely on it to carry me on a long trip. If I’ve taken care of my spiritual condition, I can rely on it to get through the hard times in life. If I’ve put in the hard work of being married, I can trust that we will take wonderful care of each other no matter what comes our way.
The one thing I can guarantee you is that some shit is coming your way. Sickness, old age, and death are the natural parts of life that affect every human being. There is no way to bypass those parts of life, but the more durable we become, the easier it will be to weather the upcoming storms in our lives.