For the past six years, I’ve been attending multi-day (silent) meditation retreats each year.
As a matter of fact, I’m at one right now, up in the mountains of Northern New Mexico.
If you’re interested, here’s what this looks like:
About 45 minutes before I arrive at the retreat center, I lose cell phone coverage.
The retreat I’m at is off the grid and fairly rustic. It’s deep in the mountains of Carson National Forest and sits at about 9,000 feet in altitude.
There is no wifi.
The phone gets turned off before I enter and I don’t turn it back on until the retreat is over.
We maintain noble silence for the entire week. This means I don’t communicate with other retreatants (also called yogis). We don’t talk to each other, we avoid eye contact, we don’t even hold the door for each other in the dining hall.
I don’t take books or anything to write with.
Each morning we receive meditation instruction for the day. We have chores to do each day. And of course we meditate for hours and hours. Sitting meditation and walking meditation mostly.
There is plenty of amazing and healthy food. There are trails to walk, lakes to swim, and mountains to explore. The weather is usually beautiful and I get to see all manner of wildlife each day.
For many years before I attended my first retreat, the idea of a silent retreat terrified me. I’m not sure why exactly, but it did.
Now they are a regular part of my routine, like working out or walking my dog.
As I fly to New Mexico on Thursday morning, I will get a little nervous. What if something happened to my wife or dog while I’m gone?
What if a client needs urgent help?
What if the house has some problem that Eva will need me to fix? What if, what if, what if!
After I lose cell signal, I get even more nervous for a few minutes wondering if I’ve taken care of everything that needs to be taken care of.
Then, as I drive through the mountains, my nervous system starts to settle down. Email stops feeling important.
By that evening, once I’ve seen some friends, sat in silence, and eaten a good meal, I’m ready for the week.
Bring the silence!
Bring the presence.
Bring all the shit I don’t want to look at or think about and let’s sit with it for hours each day!
By the time I walk out of there 7 days later, I will be so accustomed to the quiet and the peace that simple daily living in the “real world” will require something extra of me.
Traffic will be tough to work with, talking to people can be challenging, and getting on the flight back home will feel like a radical disruption to my equilibrium.
All by design.
The benefits of sitting a retreat are many! And I will experience them on day one and will continue to experience them for the next ~6 months.
Then, it’s time to sign up for another one.
In addition to sitting in meditation daily, this is part of how I build continuity of mindfulness, which makes day-to-day living more peaceful and joyful. Makes me kinder and more generous and forgiving.
So if you’re wondering why in the hell someone would do something like this, that’s why I do it. 🙏🏻