“You always have two choices: your commitment versus your fear.”
—Sammy Davis, Jr.
I don’t love commitment. Or, I don’t love the idea of commitment. If I think about that idea in the abstract, it can feel confining, stifling, and overly restrictive.
But lately, I’ve been “asked” to commit to 3 very different, long term things in my life.
Before I tell you about these new commitments, I should say that I’m already very committed in other areas in my life. My relationship with my wife, my recovery, my fitness/health, and my family. But these are easy commitments and I get so much in return from these commitments that they don’t leave me feeling like I’m missing out on something else.
OK, so the first commitment started two months ago when, after a long period of feeling like I didn’t have the clarity or support I needed in my career, I enrolled in the Thought Leaders Business School. As I got started in this program, the first thing that was asked of me was to make a decision. That decision was to complete the entire program. To commit to myself to go all the way through the curriculum, do the work, and make the money.
I didn’t want to fully commit. I wanted to dip my toe in the pool, but also leave myself some wiggle room so that if I ever got uncomfortable or something better came along, I could drop it and try something else.
But I was mindful of this fear of commitment and decided to go for it anyway. It’s a lot of work, but I’m learning a lot and already benefiting greatly from the curriculum, other students, and the teachers.
The second commitment is actually a set of 15 commitments. Maybe you’ve heard of them, but they are The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership. I was familiar with some of these concepts but recently read the book and felt compelled to commit to these ways of being in a more intentional way. Again, the ROI on these behaviors and mindsets is speedy so I don’t feel like I’ve sacrificed much for this commitment.
Finally, and this is a little embarrassing to admit, but I committed to and started the 75Hard program. I say I’m embarrassed because I don’t much care for all the tough guy posturing that comes with shit like this. As a matter of fact, I’ve personally rebranded it “75Fun!” for my own sake. It is hard and I appreciate the value of doing hard things, but all the military cosplay imagery is a turn off.
If you’re not familiar and don’t feel like clicking on that link above, 75Hard (fun) is a “mental toughness” program that requires completing two workouts daily, strict diet, gallon of water, reading 10 pages, daily selfie—for 75 straight days.
Honestly, I did most of these things already but not everyday for two and a half months straight. So that’s the challenge. As of this writing, I’m 21 days in and I’m enjoying 90% of it.
For this commitment, I’m giving up eating all the good stuff over the holidays and rest days. But I was in need of a little kick in the pants. Even though I’m committed to working out regularly, I’ve been coasting for a while. It was time to amp it up a little and see if I can’t get a little stronger. A little faster.
Maybe it’s getting older, but I appreciate structure in my life. My workouts, meditation, writing, food, and so many other foundational parts of my life are fairly structured these days. And if that’s the case, there is a degree of commitment already in play.
Having structure, routine, and dare I say discipline in my life has made it better, more expansive, and more creative. Not the opposite. As a teenager I thought anarchy was the answer. No rules, no laws, just chaos and doing whatever I wanted when the mood struck me.
That sounds kind of miserable now. Committing to something and following through on that thing has proved immensely valuable to me. It reminds me that I can do hard things. That I can see things through to the end even when I so badly want to quit. Especially when I want to quit.
As we approach the new year, I wonder what things you’ve thought about committing to but haven’t yet because you’re scared you might not finish it. Because you don’t want to let yourself or others down.
The problem with this approach to life, is that we never get to accomplish the BIG things. We never get to see the finish line of that race, or work through the super-hard and difficult parts of a marriage. We never get to realize what we’re truly capable of because we don’t make the commitment to start.
Find the scary thing. The big thing that would change your life for the better, and commit to that shit. Start small if you need to. The commitment to show up for 75 days has already taught me more than I expected—not because it’s extreme, but because it removed the daily negotiation of ‘should I?’. Own it. Then get to work, seeing it come to life, one day at a time.