I write about work a lot. Not because work is always problematic (though it often is), but because I genuinely love it. I really, really love it.
Of course, like most people, I’ve had jobs I didn’t love — and a few I loved a little too much. But when you find that Goldilocks zone, the right kind of work can be one of the most fulfilling parts of life.
When done well, work can be challenging, stimulating, exciting, and rewarding — in all kinds of ways. It can be a vehicle for personal growth. A place where we process ideas, sharpen our thinking, and stretch into new parts of ourselves.
Under the right circumstances, work becomes soulcraft.
We gain wisdom. We learn how to communicate, collaborate, and show up — sometimes imperfectly — in relationship with others. We develop and deepen our craft.
My dad retired at 50 and never looked back. He spends his days riding trails, hiking the backcountry, sleeping under the stars — and loving it.
My mom, on the other hand, is where I get my work ethic. Technically retired a decade ago, but still works full-time hours — in her church, her community, and with her friends. Paid or not, she’s still very much at it.
That’s probably my path too, even though I love the mountains as much as my dad does.
Why?
Because work offers something that’s hard to find elsewhere: a sense of purpose. It’s not the only path to purpose — but for a lot of us, it’s a big one.
Of course, there’s a line. It’s easy to take it too far — to over-identify with work and lose track of everything else that matters. The divorce rate among people married to their jobs is… not great.
But work also takes a lot of blame. Bad bosses, toxic cultures, burnout — it’s easy to treat work as the root of all our problems. Sometimes that’s valid. But more often, unless you’re in an extreme situation, work is what we make it.
Work itself is ethically neutral. It's just action. It’s when people — with all their intent and impact — enter the picture that things go sideways.
So how do we stay in right relationship with work?
Like any relationship, it requires awareness and the occasional tune-up.
Work will rarely be “just fine” forever. There are seasons to push and seasons to pause. There are times to feel fired up and times to step back and put our energy elsewhere.
There’s no single prescription I can offer — but here are a few questions I ask myself (and sometimes my clients):
- Is my relationship to work healthy right now?
- How much of my life is it taking up — and is that what I want?
- When was the last time I took real time away from work?
- Are my working relationships healthy and generative?
- Would I spend time with these people if I didn’t have to?
- Am I earning enough to feel secure and live a version of life I actually want?
There are hundreds more. But start somewhere.
Maybe take 10 minutes to write about how work actually makes you feel most of the time. If the answer isn’t something like inspired, energized, challenged, or at least curious — maybe it’s time to try a different role.
We spend about 33% of our lives at work. I think you deserve for that third of your life to be spent doing something that you don’t dread in the morning. I think you deserve work you excited to get into…at least most days.