Last week, I stumbled onto the website of a coach who lives in Paris. As I was reading through her site, I thought, Man, this is great copy. I need copy like this on my site!
Nothing wrong with that, right? Being inspired by good writing and wanting something similar to represent my work?
Well… maybe.
Here’s where it gets tricky: the website I was admiring belonged to a 30-year-old Japanese woman living in France.
And you may not know this about me, but I’m not a 30-year-old Japanese woman living in France.
If I borrowed her words and mimicked her voice, it wouldn’t just be flattery—it would be potentially misleading. The people who resonated with that copy would be expecting her, not me. And if they booked a call, there would be a subtle but undeniable disconnect. It wouldn’t quite match up.
This got me thinking about authenticity and how we present ourselves—not just in business but in life.
I truly believe that when we show up as our real selves, we attract the right people into our lives—the right clients, partners, collaborators, and friends.
But being authentic isn’t always easy, is it?
We’re conditioned to fit in, to be agreeable, to smooth out our edges in the hope of being liked. In social situations, at work, in dating—there’s often an unspoken pressure to perform. To present a curated version of ourselves that feels more digestible.
Take dating, for example. When we meet someone new, we instinctively put our best foot forward. We’re charming, we laugh at the right moments, we downplay our weird quirks. But isn’t that just a form of false advertising?
Because let’s be honest—we’re not always on our A-game. We don’t always smell great. Sometimes we’re in a terrible mood for no reason. And every now and then, we might spend an entire afternoon unable to get off the couch.
And yet, when we act like someone else or show only the most polished version of ourselves, we operate from fear—the fear that if people saw the real us, we wouldn’t be accepted.
The problem? Hiding who we are doesn’t just prevent us from attracting the right people—it actively attracts the wrong ones—the ones who aren’t truly aligned with our values.
So here’s the challenge:
The next time you’re in a group and you feel the instinct to perform, to tweak yourself just enough to fit in—don’t.
Be yourself. Be honest. Be real.
If someone tells a joke at someone else’s expense, don’t laugh.
If the conversation veers into gossip, don’t join in—or better yet, push back.
If you’re naturally kind, don’t tone that down just because the room isn’t matching your energy.
Being yourself—especially when it feels risky—is the surest way to attract the right people and repel the ones you don’t want around. And in the long run, this strategy will help you get what we’re all looking for in life. Connection.