Confession
I have a confession to make: I have been off the rails lately.
I have been totally overdosing on “business content” in all its forms in a way that feels truly addictive. You know that feeling when you realize you’ve been opening app after app on your phone without really thinking? Well, that’s what I’ve been doing with “business content.”
The Spiral Begins
Let me backup just a little: Six weeks ago I stumbled across someone on Substack who was talking about all the ways I felt a few years ago when I was on the precipice of leaving Stoked (a design consultancy I’d co-founded in 2011). And because I was resonating SO hard with his experience at his own design firm, I listened to several episodes of his podcast and eventually became interested in how they’d achieved their success. This hook was set deep!
Then I started reading a book he’d read and trying different online tactics to attract potential clients. Then I learned he and his team were hosting a mastermind (this word makes me itchy) in Berlin. So I applied. And got in. Now I’m going to Berlin in August.
At the same time, I was speaking to another coach who suggested I read the Thought Leaders Practice Book (this phrase also makes me itchy). I read the book, really loved their premise, and signed up for their online Foundations Course. This course has a shit ton of homework to do each week which has been incredibly helpful in developing my own ideas.
So now I’m taking a course, reading a Russell Brunson book (which might as well be a course), prepping webinars, building funnels to promote said webinars, running 1:1 coaching, group coaching, the Starting Block course we offer… and, oh yeah, I’m heading to Berlin in two months to hang out with AJ&Smart.
All while coaching current clients, working a long-term consulting gig, creating content for all of the above, and trying to market and sell future work. For fuck’s sake.
The Wake-Up Call
Clearly, this wasn’t sustainable. And when my wife mentioned the other day that she wished I could be a little less scheduled and a little more spontaneous, my heart sank. After all, one of the primary reasons I’m an entrepreneur is for scheduling freedom.
I am a company of one, which I love. But I work with a few part-time contractors to help with accounting, posting content, video editing, etc.
I just got off the phone with my “assistant” who did a wonderful job of intervening on my crackhead behavior of bouncing from one idea to the next.
She kindly let me know that she was unclear about what we were doing (because I was trying SO many different things). And that if she was confused, we could be pretty damn sure that my audience would be confused.
So I’m pumping the brakes. Scaling back new offerings for now. Making sure that I’m doing excellent work on the basics I already offer. Moving slower and more deliberately. Saying NO to opportunities that aren’t a good fit even when I feel like I should for financial reasons.
The Real Work
I’m arresting the symptomatic behavior of jumping from one shiny thing to the next, but I’m also trying to create a little space so I can take a look at WHY I felt like I needed to do 27 things at once.
Thankfully, having a consistent mindfulness practice gives me the ability to take a look at the root cause of these symptoms so that I might address the real, underlying issue.
I think it comes down to two things:
- Financial fear
- A legit desire/curiosity to solve business problems
The fear that I’m not going to make “enough” money is a usual suspect in my life regardless of how much I’m making or have in the bank. Therefore you know it’s irrational.
There’s also a fear that I’m not growing as fast I feel like I should. Fear that I’m being passed by others or that I’m getting old and won’t have time to accomplish my commercial goals.
Then there’s this strong desire to problem solve. One of the great things about doing business online is that there are endless experiments you can run to see what works and what doesn’t. There is so much trial and error which can be frustrating but since it’s typically not terribly expensive, it can be fun…and maddening when you can’t seem to connect with your intended audience.
What I’m Learning
Look, nothing was broken or damaged beyond repair. Mostly I just lost the plot for a few days.
The hardest part to reckon with is that this is my thing. My schtick. I’m a guy that writes about and works with people to create sane and productive relationships with work and here I am going bananas. It’s hard to admit that. I want badly to pretend like this didn’t happen and let you all believe that I have this stuff on lock. That I never struggle with overworking or fear of not enough work or frustration because I can’t figure something out with my business.
But alas. Here I am. Warts and all. Working through the same shit you are.
If you’ve been here too—juggling too many things, chasing too many threads—I’d love to hear how you’re finding your way back to center.