Hi everyone, in a sad turn of events, we said goodbye to our sweet Josie this past weekend. She was 15 years old and lived a fairly incredible life (if I say so myself). Anyway, I’m fairly f’n sad and not in the mood to write something new, so this week you’re getting something I originally published in 2024 but still feels relevant and timely.
It starts when we’re young and in school. How we’re doing is measured by a grading system that shows up on a report card that is shared with our parents.
A+, A-, B+, B- etc. All the way down to the failing grade of F.
As we get older, there are newer, different metrics for “how we’re doing”. How we appear becomes increasingly important as a teenager. What your hair looks like, what kind of clothes you wear, if you have a car and what model.
Later, we move into the workforce and measure ourselves with salary, bonus structure, checking account balance, size of the house, model of the car, and yes…some of us are still holding on to clothes and hairstyles.
There’s a chance you’re gonna disagree with me here, but I’d venture to say these aren’t great indicators of how we’re really doing. Not in any meaningful way.
Are we living by our values? Do we even know what our personal values are? Are we of service to our families, friends, and community? Are we present with the ones we love most? Do we experience peace and contentment?
I know I know. None of these things LOOK as cool as a new Porsche 911 or another zero in the bank account. But I’d venture to say that they are far more fulfilling than the old metrics we grew up with.
Money’s cool. I like it. 911’s are great and I’d take one if offered. But more importantly, I know that these things, these trappings of success, don’t fix the deeper issue I have going on. In fact, they tend to exacerbate the issues deep within me.
Feel free to let go of the things that you used to measure your progress and draft some new ones. Maybe measure yourself on the consistency with which you make your spouse a cup of coffee in the morning! Or how often you walk your dog.
Maybe it’s the regularity with which you can forgive yourself for some dumb mistake you made in the past.
Or how about grading yourself on the quality of your calendar! When you look at the week ahead, is there some white space in there? If so, you get an A. If it’s booked solid with Zoom calls, you get D!
You get what I’m saying. Find new ways to evaluate how you’re doing and use those new metrics to keep tuning up how you show up.
It’s your life; measure it however you want to. You don’t have to apply the same metrics that everyone does.