“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone”
17h century mathematician, philosopher, physicist, inventor, and writer Blaise Pascal penned the above quote in his book Pensées. It’s a surprisingly modern hot take that was written over 350 years ago. I guess that means it’s not so much a modern problem, as it is one that has plagued humans for a very long time.
Pascal observed that people were basically uncomfortable with themselves and with silence and I don’t think he’d be at all surprised to witness the myriad ways in which we distract ourselves in the modern age. I think he’d really get a kick out of our smartphone addiction!
He believed that most of our modern day pursuits (hobbies, work, entertainment, busyness in general) were created to avoid spending time alone with our own thoughts. Because if we did, we’d be faced with our own mortality and that’s not something that most of us are interested in.
Ironically though, those that do put their phone away for a few hours or go on a solo-hike, or sit in meditation report back that it not only feels good to spend some time alone in thought (or meditation or prayer), but that it can also be incredibly productive!
I realise that being productive isn’t the point for Pascal. As a matter of fact I can see him whispering to me to stop trying to be so f’n productive all the time. But I’m talking about the kind of productivity that makes life rich and fun and worth living!
Yesterday I was walking Josie out at my favorite park in Nashville. It was cool and overcast and everything was wet which mostly ensured I wouldn’t see another soul. My phone was on airplane mode and I let my mind wander. I listened to birdsong and looked for the eagles that nest on the river. I watched Josie running and sniffing and enjoying the beauty of being a dog in the woods.
My mind processed hundreds of different ideas and conversations and deeper beliefs. I thought about relationships and death and money and work and the latest installment of Stranger Things. I gave my mind the time and space to process my life in a way that doesn’t happen when I’m at home with the 1,000 distractions that are available to me.
I love walking that same park with Eva (my wife) and Josie. It’s our time together as a family away from all those same distractions, but with her there I can’t think. I don’t get that same chance to process things because I’m in engaged in listening and conversation. I love my wife dearly, but I HAVE to have time and space to do things without her (or anyone else) in order to feel a sense of peace and clarity.
The next month (December) of our lives will be kind of crazy! There tends to be more traffic, more people out and about at every store and restaurant, and we’ll likely spend more time with family. There is more spending which can lead to financial stress and more consuming, which can often feel empty and unfulfilling. There are more unhealthy/delicious foods around and for those that partake, more alcohol available. It is a wonderful time in so many ways, but I find there is less time for solitude, reflection, processing, and quiet discernment. And this seems to lead to its own kind of emotional hangover. I think it’s why so many of us feel a sense of relief when the holidays are over and we can get back to “normal” with all our new diets and workout plans.
So here’s a practice if you’d like to try it:
Spend ~5-10 minutes each day in quiet solitude. You can sit in meditation, go for a walk, hang out on your back porch, or maybe even go for a drive if you can find an empty stretch of road. Go somewhere where there are NO other people and spend a few minutes alone and in silence. No books/audiobooks/podcasts.
Let your brain come back online. Experience thoughts and emotions as they come up. Stop reacting to email/text messages/phone calls/calendar and just BE for a few minutes. Notice what you think about. Notice your emotions. Pay attention. Be present.