Turning 50.

I turned 50 a few days ago.

This is kind of bizarre and rad at the same time.

First of all, when I was 22, I didn’t think I would live past 25. My alcoholism had me on a fast track to a rough life and an early death.

Fortunately, I found recovery in my late 20’s and have (thus far) been able to avoid those fates.

But what I can’t avoid (and the message I found so compelling in Buddhism) is old age, sickness, and death.

Yeah, I know…not an ideal slogan to promote Buddhism!

But once I started to become friends with the reality that I am 100% going to get older no matter what I do, that I am 100% going to experience sickness and injury in this body, and that I am 100% going to die and experience separation from everything I love….well then I started to experience a little more peace.

How is that? It seems so morbid to consider that!

For me, I’d spent so much of my life resisting these realities. Growing older was fun until it wasn’t. I hated being sick or injured. And the idea of dying was super low on my list of things to do.

I resisted all of these things. And when I’m resistant to something that will happen, no matter how I feel about it, I create suffering in myself.

So I started to embrace these ideas. I started to think about them more often and more openly. I talked about them more with friends and family. And the longer I practice this, the less fear I have around all of them. Less fear = less suffering.

I turned 50 on December 27th, and I was so happy and grateful. I got to be surrounded by friends and family. I felt so fortunate to have survived my alcoholism when so many others don’t make it. I have a life I love. And quite frankly, getting older is easier in so many ways!

As my cousin Johnny said to me, “I don’t have to apologize as much as I used to.” What gift!

So, to those of you out there who are getting older (all of you), there is a bright side to aging. There is a bright side to the constant change we all experience, but it starts with accepting the reality of old age, sickness, and death.