I was out on the bike earlier this week and per usual, I was taking an inventory of personal injuries, ailments, aches, and pains. Strain in my left bicep, plantar pain in my left foot, right hip flexor is tight, right calf cramp…you get the picture. And if you’re over 50 (as I am), you definitely get the picture.
Then, in my mind, I noticed a recurring thought that goes something like this: As soon as all these injuries are healed up, I’ll be ready! I can sign up for this race and that event and go do that long cycle tour I’ve been dreaming of.
We’ve all had these thoughts right? This magical future when there are no more aches and pains in my body, I will do X. Or, maybe more likely is that when I have enough work/money/love/etc I will do X.
Apparently, we’re prone to believe that there is a mythical place in the future when everything in our lives will calm down and we’ll have everything we need. All the safety and security will be present and THEN we can finally relax/take a vacation/have fun/stop working at 5:00/etc.
But as I was out on the bike this morning taking that inventory of my body, another thought broke in. Dude, we are never going to feel perfect. So let’s quit using that as an excuse to put everything off until we do. It’s never going to happen. So if touring down the Natchez Trace is something you want to do, the time is right-fucking-now.
I knew that voice was speaking truth. And I’ve heard that voice over and over in my life in several different contexts. Where the delusion of a perfect future is most insidious in my life is the old idea that I am going to reach the perfect mix of money in the bank (safety) and plenty of future work booked in the future (security) so I can finally take some time off and go somewhere fun with my wife. I hit on this a little bit in a recent post.
Being a leader or an entrepreneur is tricky in that we (technically) control our calendars, but are the least likely to take a healthy amount of time off over the course of a year. Or if we do, we tend to have our devices with us, responding to work requests, never giving our bodies and minds the rest they need to function at a high level.
There is no perfect future. No time where I have everything (I think) I need and there is total safety and security. My body will likely never feel 100% awesome ever again. I’m 52, and if I’m going to continue to enjoy life, I need to get over the idea that I need to feel great in order to do fun things. I need to get over not having “enough” future work booked before I can plan a vacation with my wife.
This is how it is now. In work, in my body, and out in the world. The world is bananas right now. War, climate crisis, financial crisis, political division, etc. If I wait for the world to calm down a little before I launch a business, write a book, or take vacation, I’ll be waiting a long, long time.
I mean no disrespect to Horace, but I cringe when I see Carpe Diem written on just about anything. Not because the sentiment is silly, but I tend to judge those that feel like they need to say it publicly, especially when I’m not feeling capable of seizing anything. On those days I want to seize some ice cream and watch West Wing all day.
But on most days, I can seize a fair portion of the present moment. Today, I’m making sure Eva and I have trips on the calendar and I’m going to plan my bikepacking trip. Better to lock myself into these things instead of letting yet another opportunity pass me by.