“Real wealth is never having to spend time with assholes.”
—John Waters
Money is weird.
We all have baggage around it—old stories about what it means, what it’s worth, and how it aligns (or doesn’t) with our values. Some of us want more of it. Some of us feel weird about wanting it. Some of us spend too much time thinking about it.
I fall into that last category.
My relationship with money has always been a little cloudy—probably because I grew up listening to punk and hardcore, where wealth, greed, and consumerism were considered the root of all evil.
In my 20s and 30s, I didn’t think much about making money because I didn’t need to. I was too busy running, climbing, and biking through life. Work existed solely to fund my gear obsession and keep me fed.
But then I got older, and that annoying little voice showed up:
“Hey dude, maybe you should, I don’t know… save some money? Plan for the future? Maybe own something instead of just renting and wandering around with a backpack full of coffee and Clif bars?”
I also hit my prime earning years, which, it turns out, is the exact moment when money stops being something you actively avoid thinking about and starts becoming something you worry about all the time.
And honestly? I don’t love that.
I don’t love how much space money takes up in my brain. I don’t love the constant tension between wanting enough to feel secure but not wanting it to own me. I don’t love how, in some ways, I’ve lost the lightness I used to have when my only financial goal was keeping gas in the truck and a pack of smokes in my pocket (yes, of course, I quit years ago).
But what I do love is that, over time, I’ve started to recognize other forms of wealth that feel just as—if not more—important than whatever’s in my bank account.
The Many Forms of Wealth (That Have Nothing to Do with Money)
1. Time Freedom: Not Having Every Minute Spoken For
You know what feels richer than a fat paycheck? Not having to sit on endless Zoom calls listening to someone read a PowerPoint out loud. Dictating how my time is spent is the ultimate richy rich!
2. The Power to Say No (or Yes) Without Panic
At a certain point, I realized that a lot of money stress wasn’t actually about money. It was about feeling like I had to say yes to things I didn’t want to do because I was afraid of running out. That’s not wealth—that’s scarcity panic.
3. Autonomy: AKA Not Having a Boss
I haven’t had a boss in a long time, and I don’t miss it. I know some people thrive in traditional workplaces but for me? Not being told what to do every day is worth more than any salary.
4. Ownership of My Work (Instead of Just Building Someone Else’s Empire)
This is one I wrestle with a lot. Entrepreneurship is a grind, but at least it’s my grind. I get to decide what I create, who I work with, and how much I charge. There’s freedom in that. And freedom is what most people think money will buy them.
5. The Ability to Put My Money Where My Values Are
There’s something satisfying about choosing who I give my money to—whether it’s local businesses, indie creators, or just tipping the hell out of a great barista. When I worked for someone else, I didn’t have that control.
6. Relationships That Don’t Feel Like Transactions
At the risk of sounding like a bad country song, I’d rather be broke with good friends than rich and surrounded by people I don’t trust.
7. Health That Lets Me Do the Stuff I Love
There’s a reason rich dudes in their 50s suddenly become obsessed with biohacking. You can make all the money in the world, but if your body’s falling apart, what’s the point?
8. The Ability to Walk Away
Maybe the ultimate flex in life is not needing to put up with bullshit. Whether it’s a toxic client, a bad relationship, or just a work situation that isn’t a fit, knowing you can leave without spiraling is a kind of wealth I’m still working on.
So, What’s Actually Worth Chasing?
I don’t have this figured out. I still think about money more than I’d like. I still wonder whether I should be hustling harder or chilling the hell out.
But I also know that there’s no number in a bank account that will suddenly make me feel “safe.” And I’d rather be intentional about the kind of wealth I’m building—because the money part? That’s just one piece of the puzzle.
What about you? What kind of wealth actually matters to you right now?
See you next week,
Parker
“Happiness is when you’re doing what you want to be doing.”
—Danny Kahneman