The Practice

What If Your Misery Is Optional?

How To Reframe Frustration

PG

The other day I was offering my step-dad some unsolicited advice about when he should run his errands in order to avoid the ever worsening Nashville traffic.

Then he said something which struck me.

He said, “Oh, I don’t care about traffic.”

🤯

And for the first time in my life, I realized that being annoyed by traffic was a decision that I made. Apparently, it was not the only option. I had a choice, and for the past 51 years, I’d usually chosen being annoyed, frustrated, or insulted by heavy traffic.

But at some point in time, my step-dad had just a made a decision that he wasn’t going to be upset by that. I’m sure he finds other things to be upset about, but traffic wasn’t one of them.

I feel kinda stupid admitting this, but my mind was blown. It had just never occurred to me that anyone considered dealing with traffic as anything other than an inconvenience.

Then of course, I started to wonder how many other situations in my life I was unconsciously choosing to have a negative reaction to. Like slow lines at the coffee shop or bad wifi. There are so many cultural norms out there that we can blindly adhere to without really giving them the thought they probably deserve.

So this past week I’ve been experimenting with traffic. Every time I find myself in some, I try to remember to say what my step-dad says: “I don’t care about this.”

And, as you might imagine my friends, that shit works. I calm down, quit trying to hurry to my destination (for no apparent reason), and relax a little.

Turns out, calm is a decision I can make anytime. Just like frustration. Now I’m trying to make that decision a little more often.

Thanks for reading, friends. 🙏🏻

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