I know, it’s frustrating, right?
You know you’re capable of more — but you just can’t seem to get there.
And that disconnect? It’s baffling.
You’re smart, hard-working, and have all the tools and resources you need.
So why does it still feel like you’re falling short?
Maybe it’s because we’ve never actually defined what “full potential” even means — or given ourselves permission to say: “this is enough.”
Two things are true about me:
- I’m almost never where I want to be, personally or professionally. Always just shy of the goal.
- I’m terrible at reflecting on how far I’ve come.
For those of you new here: I was a hot mess for about 15 years until I got arrested for the last time in 2001. Not rad in my 20s. Fired, dumped, broke, bouncing between cities, lying, scamming — you get the picture.
Since sobering up, I’ve spent over two decades rebuilding. Emotionally, spiritually, financially, physically.
Started companies. Paid off debt. Been married 20 years. Worked at Stanford. Helped hundreds of men get sober. Raced endurance events. Never went to college.
I’m not sharing this for applause. I’m sharing it because I know what radical transformation looks and feels like.
And still… I don’t feel like I’ve reached my full potential.
Why? Probably because I’ve never stopped long enough to define what that even is.
And even when I do hit a goal, I just move the damn goalpost.
Run an 8:30 mile? Now I want 7:59.
Make six figures? Somehow still feel broke.
Lose two pounds? Why not ten?
So how do we feel like we’re growing if we never stop to acknowledge how far we’ve come?
Honestly? I don’t totally know.
But I do know that noticing the pattern is step one.
These days, when I feel like I should be doing more/better, I try to pause and look backward — not just forward.
That alone helps dial down the “not good enough” voice in my head.
Beating ourselves up for not being in a state of constant improvement?
Not helpful. It’s likely holding us back more than helping us.
From what I’ve seen (in myself and in clients), there are two main blockers:
- You don’t know what actions to take.
- You do know — but you’re not willing to take them.
I’ll give you both:
👉 I’d love to 10x my income. But I don’t yet know how. Still experimenting.
👉 I know exactly what it takes to have six-pack abs. I just refuse to give up my burrito habit.
So if you’re serious about unlocking your full potential, here’s my best advice:
- Define what it actually looks and feels like. Not just career goals — but your fully realized self.
- Make reflection a habit. Track your progress. It’s fuel.
- If you don’t know the path, experiment. Run little tests. See what works.
- If you’re unwilling to make certain sacrifices — let that go. Can’t give up your daily burrito? Totally fine. But Adonis abs for you.
And if you do feel like you’re operating at your highest level?
Hell yeah. I applaud that.
But I’ll bet it’s not because you hit a revenue milestone or ran a 7-minute mile.
It’s probably because you realized something deeper:
You’re already enough.
You’ve got nothing to prove.
And that… that’s real success.