Does everyone around you think you’re self-centered?

Several years ago, a friend of mine was explaining why he had to let go of one of someone who worked on his team.

It obviously wasn’t a good fit, but something else he said stuck out to me.

“Her use of pronouns was staggering!”

What he meant by this was that this teammate of his always spoke in “I” and “mine” and “me” statements.

She was constantly concerned with what she needed and what she was lacking and apparently, it never occurred to her to use “we”, “us”, and “our” statements.

It’s not hard to fall into this trap of self-centeredness.

We get hired to do a job and when we don’t have what we think we need to do our job well, we start using all the self-referential pronouns and forget that we are on a team or we are part of a company or that we serve a customer.

My unsolicited advice: Audit yourself.

For one week, practice some awareness of the language you’re using around others (or even in your head) and see what kind of pronouns you’re using most. Each evening you can jot down how often you noticed your self-centeredness when talking to others.

If you find that you are you wholly focused on yourself at the expense of everyone around you, you can change this unattractive behavior by simply asking the people on your team how they are doing. Or if they need anything. Practice a little empathy and selflessness. It takes very little of your time and energy and will typically result in better workplace relationships as well as a heightened sense of well-being since you aren’t as wrapped up in your own sh*t all the time.