Quit rowing & start sailing.

I was talking with my therapist yesterday and mentioned to him that I’ve been having a hard time relaxing lately. That I feel rigid and energetically jammed up.

I then mentioned all the ways in which I was trying to create relaxation and ease by working out and hitting my macros and all that sh*t.

My therapist said, “Have you ever asked for relaxation and ease?”

“Asked from who?” I replied

“From God, the universe, or even from yourself.”

Then, he had me shut my eyes, ask for what I wanted, and visualize what it felt like to get it.

Please Note: This is not me asking for $10M bucks and a Ferrari parked at my villa on Lake Como. This is not The Secret.

So I did. I closed my eyes and almost immediately started laughing.

I had asked for freedom from some of the fears that I’d been experiencing lately. One of these fears is that if I don’t adhere to rigid structures and routines, I won’t be happy and get what I want in life.

Then it occurred to me. I’m sure you, dear reader, have already noticed this, but I was trying to force relaxation. I was trying to will myself into ease.

“Life is most skillfully lived when one sails a boat rather than rowing it. It’s more intelligent to sail than to row. With oars I have to use my muscles and my effort to drag myself along the water. But with a sail, I let the wind do the work for me.” -Alan Watts

In meditation, I can use the phrase, “May I be at ease” over and over. The deeper this sinks into my muscles, I can physically feel a change occur. I start to relax and remember that everything is going to be OK.